 1. You walk in step to all
music.
2. You have more inside
jokes than any of your non-guard friends.
3. During the summer you
go outside at 4am so you can practice before it gets too hot.
4. There are brown patches
of grass in your yard where you practice, where you put your CD player, and where you put you CD
case.
5. Guard=life. You know this.
No one can convince you otherwise.
6. Your non-guard friends
are used to having no idea what you’re talking about.
7. You always start walking
with your left foot.
8. You will start doing
your guard dance at completely random times, like when you’re walking home from school or at the park.
9. You spin pencils, mops,
brooms, telephones, yard sticks, air, etc.
10. You can divide a number
by eight faster than any other number.
11. You can catch anything thrown at you or in the air, no matter how
large, heavy, or pointy.
12. You can fit 15 girls into one bathroom with space left to spare.
13. You have twice as many calluses on your hands as any other person.
14. You have permanent bruises
on your shins, head, etc. from hitting yourself with a flag/rifle.
15. You have trouble remembering
to go from 8 to 9 when counting.
 
16. You know the names and locations of more high schools than the
rest of your friends put together.
17. If there’s no room
in the girls’ locker room, it’s perfectly fine to take over the boys’.
18. Every time you hear
a song, you imagine a possible flag/rifle/sabre routine to go with it.
19. You know your older brother/sister’s
high school fight song, even though they don’t.
20. You name your bruises
and miss them when they go away. 21. You know that 1=10 in the phrase, “One more time!”
22. You don’t even notice you hit yourself at practice until
you see the bruise the next day.
23. No matter what goes wrong,
you DON’T STOP PERFORMING.
24. You spend all your spare
time trying to find guard websites.
25. You’ve gotten yourself
up at 5:00am so you can get some practice in before the day starts.
26. You step twice on one
foot so you and the person you’re walking next to and be walking in-step with each other.
27. You celebrate when you hear a song you’ve done a routine
to or a song by a group you’ve done a routine to.
28. New gloves? AWESOME!!!
29. You are always on the
lookout for a good song to make a routine for.
30. You’re an arm-wrestle champion.
 
31. Midnight guard practice
is a regular occurrence.
32. You have abnormal tan lines from your guard outfits, your gloves,
your socks, etc.
33. You own a video of every color guard competition you’ve performed
in/been to.
34. Dinner is regularly
1-5 dollars, and that’s perfectly OK.
35. When you insist on performing,
even with a broken bone.
36. You’ve named your
flag, rifle, and/or sabre.
37. You have tons of guard shirts and shorts.
38. You’re always early for anything.
39. You’ve hit yourself
in the head so many times, it doesn’t even hurt anymore.
40. You’ve hit yourself in the head so many times, it feels
good. 41. You own more CDs than is natural.
42. All of your personal
quotes have something to do with guard.
43. You can come up with
a good, plausible excuse for anything.
44. Music is your life.
45. You stretch fifty
times a day but
still can’t do the splits.
46. You’ve been busted by the cops for breaking
curfew after staying out too late practicing.
47. You miss a guard member who you last saw two days ago ten times
as much as you miss your out-of-town relatives.
48. You walk with your toes
pointed.
49. You sleepwalk… your guard routine.
50. You’ve gotten
a black eye as a result of a toss gone wrong.
51. You’ve wasted half
of your life arguing that guard IS a sport!
52. Rifles are to spin,
not kill people.
53. “On your guard”
means you do routines with flags, rifles and sabres. It has nothing to do with caution or being careful.
54. You try to convince your parents to let you stay home from vacation
so you won’t have to miss practice.
55. You love socks of all
kinds, as long as they aren’t plain white.
56. You have a color guard
screen name/email address.
57. You sing songs most of
our friends have never heard of.
58. If you aren’t at least ten minutes early, that is considered
late.
59. You walk in step
to rhythmic noises around you.
60. You listen to songs
from the 80s because you think they have good beats for guard routines.
61. You can come up with
one of these lists with no thought at all.
62. You’re constantly
singing random songs like Hakuna Matata.
63. You don't even bother replacing the light bulb in your room anymore.
64. There
are holes in your bedroom ceiling.
65. You keep a sleeping
bag in the band room, just in case.
66. You
are a first aid expert.
67. Your only jacket is a
guard jacket.
68. Your
nails are always broken.
69. When eating out late
at night, you're always in a group.
70. You've
mastered the art of putting on makeup while bouncing up and down on a bus.
71. You say, “I pledge allegiance to my flag…”
72. You
get a tattoo of a flag/rifle/sabre.
73. You
always know what your guard instructor will say and are the first to follow instructions.
74. You
enjoy wearing your uniform.
75. You
dedicate a website to guard.
 76. Life? What's that? Oh, you mean my flag. Yeah I have one.
77. You can fold a tarp faster than your laundry.
78. You've done over 1,500 drop spins in one sitting, without stopping.
79. You always do across-the-floors, even when walking down the hallway or swimming
in the ocean.
80. You never grow out your nails because you know you'll just break them anyway.
81. Your parents refuse to spend any more money on fund raisers so you have to
buy things yourself.
82. You are so used to waking up at 6am, you do it when you don't even have to.
83. You have a never-ending supply of good luck charms.
84. Parades are for watching the guards, not looking at the floats and getting
candy.
85. One of your live goals is to be able to imitate your guard announcer's voice.
86. You make up guard routines in your head in your spare time when you aren't
practicing.
87. You paint tiny colorguard flags on your fingernails and spell out 'COLORGUARD'
with one letter on each fingernail.
88. Your non-guard friends know everyone in your guard by
name and could describe them perfectly, even if they haven't met any of them.
89. You can do all kinds of jumps and leaps across the floor, but still manage
to trip over a speed bump.
90. You can bring colorguard into any conversation, no matter how unrelated.
 91. You're always the last person to hear about the big important football game
and the first to perform there.
92. You carry electrical tape around with you.
93. You brag about how many bruises you have from guard.
94. Holding conversations with inanimate objects no longer seems strange to you.
95. You across-the-floor down hallways.
96. You go to every one of your school’s football games but never have
to pay.
97. Getting a rifle callus on your thumb is the most exciting thing that has
happened to you since... well, ever.
98. You go out to dinner covered in glitter and sparkles, then wonder why there
is glitter in your food.
99. Your first kiss was with a rifle butt.
100. You've gone to the emergency room after a guard-related injury.
101. You've practiced outside in temperatures below freezing.
102. You've broken a ceiling fan/light bulb/lamp.
103. You've given yourself a nosebleed when practicing.
104. While talking to your flag/rifle/sabre, you hear it talk back.
105. You worship spandex and all of its wonders. (cough CLARE cough)
106. You refer to all rifle tosses/moves as "the flippy thing".
107. You let your rifle out to use the bathroom.
108. You own a guard hoodie.
109. You take your equipment with you on vacation.
110. Your wrist starts hurting on your way to practice.
111. You've used your rifle bolt or flag pole as a mirror.
112. You leave your summer vacation early for band camp.
113. Your flag is your best friend.
114. Your flag is your only friend.
115. Your computer desktop is colorguard.
116. You've had a guard related mental breakdown.
117. You can manage to go a distance of two feet in twenty-four steps (and not
get there one step early).
118. You try to get friends, siblings, relatives, and random people on the streets
involved in guard.
119. You roll your feet outside of band.
120. You have dreams about colorguard.
121. You measure distance in marching steps.
122. Some random body part always seems to be hurting.
123. Electrical tape is your best friend.
124. Glitter is your second best friend.
125. If Icy-Hot were crack, you'd be high all the time.
(Also, let
me know if you notice any repeats!)
Thanks!
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